Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Holla to the Hose

So, as much as I have preached cloth diapers to my family, my very own brother and his wife refuse to cloth diaper. My brother lovingly reminds me that he doesn't want to have a "hose" in his house. I tell him that it's a bidet, not a hose! Sounds classier in my opinion.

Things weren't so classy one weekend this past summer, however. I somehow got myself involved with a poopy diaper and an outdoor garden hose. My husband and I were spending the weekend at my in-laws' house and my daughter did her usual stinky. Initially, I just told myself that I would throw it in the wet bag and take care of it when we got home. I then thought to myself that I didn't want to let it just sit for another 24 hours. I'm definitely not a "dunker" when it comes to poopy diapers and the toilet, so the only other thing I could think of was to use the outdoor garden hose - which is certainly not the indoor bidet I was used to. So, there I was back behind the bushes hosing my daughter's poop off into the mulch, all the while my sweet father-in-law is assuring me that "it's a great fertilizer for the plants." I'm pretty sure they think their son married a nut.

And so, this blog goes out to my brother. Let's give a "Holla" to the hoses...and the bidets!

Sunday, September 2, 2012

My Glamorous Life

So, by now you know that I'm for real about cloth diapering, and I'm a bit of snob about it. We live in a less than perfect world, however, so let's be real about one thing when it comes to cloth diapering...spraying poop is not fun. Oh how I miss the days when my daughter was exclusively breastfed and I could just throw the poopy diaper right into the washing machine! Well, those days are long gone leaving me with an experience looking something like this...

My lovely daughter poops every morning before I leave for work. By now you'd think I'd know better than to change into my clean, professional work clothes before she decides to let loose, but no. Instead, there I am at 8:00 a.m. in my high heels and skirt, hanging over the toilet with my sprayer in one hand and one nasty looking diaper in the other. It's in those moments where I think to myself "My life is so not glamorous anymore." On the bright side, however, I am in my high heels, so I've got some glamour going on. For those moms who don't wear high heels on a regular basis, try putting a pair on while spraying a poopy diaper - it may help ease your mind. For those dads out there that are doing the spraying, please don't wear high heels.

Mastering use of the diaper sprayer comes down to one thing and one thing only - water pressure! Too little and the poop is still sticking to the diaper. Too much and you've suddenly got poopy water that has ricocheted off the diaper and is now dripping down your walls and floors, not to mention you. Yes, my friends, water pressure is the key.

Some people choose to bypass the diaper sprayer and use biodegradable liners that can just be flushed once soiled. These are a great option, but it's another step in the diaper changing process that can seem like an eternity on a squirming 16 month old. Of course, we all pray for "plunkers" as my husband and I like to call them. Those poops where it's just solid enough to "plunk" into the toilet with no spraying necessary. We love these kind so much and become so overjoyed at the idea of not having to spray that we start to chant "ker-plunk" as we're dumping it into the toilet. Our faces beam with excitement like we just accomplished something huge.

While we're on the subject of squirming 16 month olds, here's another piece of advice when it comes to spraying poopy diapers...shut the bathroom door behind you. My daughter's new, favorite activity is to come up behind me while I'm spraying and put her hand in the toilet. And one final tip...keep your mouth closed while spraying! Yep, this is my glamorous life.